


Mine Ransoms Yours, and Yours Must Ransom Me

by timtamtawney



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Cottagecore, F/F, Future Fic, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27217096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timtamtawney/pseuds/timtamtawney
Summary: An amnesia fic in which Adora forgets Catra's redemption.~~~A study in forgiveness.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra/Juliet (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 133
Kudos: 577





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wrestling with what forgiveness means and wrote this angsty (but eventually happy!) fic as an exercise to work through it. This will be in two sequential parts, the first which is (mostly) from Catra's perspective and the second which is (mostly) from Adora's.
> 
> This was heavily inspired by two fics, [Ship of Theseus](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25317748) by GallaPlacidia and [remember me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19235140/chapters/45737623) by hupsoonheng. Please read them if you enjoyed this and enjoy the HP fandom.

Catra still feels a lingering shadow of fear whenever Adora has to leave her in the night. Logically, she knows that She-Ra has to be called away to deal with sudden emergencies from time to time and can even accept that some of those emergencies may be in the middle of the night. She can’t help it, though, that even though Adora always wakes her up for a kiss goodbye before dashing off to save the world, a small part of her mind is still that scared girl in the Fright Zone, waiting up all night for Adora to come back to her from the Whispering Woods.

“I’ll be back in the morning. Promise,” Adora had whispered as she pressed her lips to Catra’s forehead. Catra liked to remind Adora that She-Ra couldn’t _actually_ just waltz into any mess, clean it up, and be back home before the sun rose, but Adora always tried to make good on this promise, and that still counted.

Catra yawned as she woke up to the earliest rays of dawn streaming through the window of their cottage. After the war, Catra had moved into Adora’s room in Bright Moon Castle, but once they had returned from traveling the galaxy, Catra had cajoled Adora into getting a place to call their own.

“I just can’t stand how bright our room is,” Catra had needled Adora one lazy afternoon. “Besides, I’m tired of Sparkles barging in here whenever she wants.” To her credit, Adora had also come to desire a _little_ more privacy from their friends.

At first, Glimmer hadn’t taken their decision well, but Bow was supportive, so that was that. On their first outing looking at houses, Adora had fallen in love with an abandoned cottage at the edge of the Whispering Woods which, to Catra’s slight dismay, was no more than a stone’s throw from the royal bedchambers.

“You know, she can still teleport here whenever she wants,” Catra had grumbled, but her heart had swelled as she watched Adora walk around the house yammering on about the memories they could build together in their new place. The _family_ they could start, someday.

Catra rubs her eyes and stretches before getting out of bed. Adora hasn’t come back yet, but over the years, Catra had managed to learn to ignore the tiny part of her that worried that Adora would abandon her again after leaving in the middle of the night. “Adora will be hungry when she comes back,” Catra thinks to herself as she lights a hotslab and cracks a few eggs into a bowl. It was her day off from telling the Queen and King how to run their kingdom, after all. She hums to herself as she cooks languorously, smiling to herself as she imagines the dopey grin that Adora will give her when she sees the hot, home-cooked meal Catra prepared for her.

~~~

It’s late in the afternoon when Catra’s ears perk up to the sounds of someone walking up slowly from the garden. “Is Adora hurt?” Catra thinks to herself, her heart racing for a moment before she remembers that She-Ra magic always leaves Adora unblemished after a battle. Still, the pit of dread that had been coalescing in her stomach all morning wasn’t going to dissipate until she saw Adora’s face again.  
  
“Hey, Adora. You’re late,” she says as she opens the door, leaning against door frame. But – it’s not Adora walking up to their home. “Oh, you could have just teleported in, Glim,” Catra says, her blood suddenly running cold. There were tears in the Queen’s eyes as she shakes her head wordlessly.

Catra numbly invites Glimmer inside and goes through the motions of preparing tea. Glimmer shakily explained that last night, a magical anomaly had opened up in the Whispering Woods that she and Adora had gone to investigate. Visibility was poor, they lost sight of each other as they approached, and just like that, the anomaly disappeared. Catra didn’t really have the patience to listen to the details.

“So where’s Adora? Did she get injured? Is she with the healers?” Catra asks, hugging herself. Her claws are out, painfully pricking her biceps, but the sting grounds her.

“S-she’s gone,” Glimmer says, helplessly.

“Gone? What do you mean _gone_? S-she can’t be d-,“ she loses the rest on the tip of her tongue, as if saying it out loud might make it true.

“No! No,” Glimmer half-shouts, waving her hands in front of her. “She’s gone. As in, I couldn’t find her. Nobody could – half my army has been searching for her all night, but she hasn’t turned up.”

“And you only just _now_ thought that you should tell me about it?” Catra’s arms shake as she grips their dining table, her claws gouging deep scratches into the wood. _Adora would come back for her. She promised._

“I-I’m so sorry, Catra,” Glimmer covers her face with her palms as she lets out a small sob. “I didn’t think it would take this long. We’re going to find her, okay? I promise. Maybe she got too close to the anomaly and got teleported somewhere.”

Catra nods dumbly. “I – I’m going to help. I can find her.” Adora is out there somewhere, she is sure of it. She couldn’t be dead – Catra would have felt it somehow, right?

Glimmer shook her head. “I want you to help, too, Catra, but you need to get yourself straight first, okay? Leave it to Entrapta and the other princesses for now. Please.” Glimmer punctuates her last request with a serious look into Catra’s eyes.

“Right. Sure,” Catra nods distantly. Melog curls around her legs, attempting to comfort her, but Carta’s mind is scarcely in the room.

_Adora is missing. Just missing. Not dead._

_Adora can’t be dead._

~~~

Bow insists that Catra take a few weeks of bereavement leave. “I’m not bereaved because she’s _not_ _dead_ ,” Catra grumbles, but it wasn’t like she could do much advising if Bow and Glimmer didn’t want her around. To no avail, she spends the week combing through the Woods, trying to pick up Adora’s trail with her sharp nose.

A week later, Scorpia and Perfuma bring her a home-cooked meal. Catra suspects that Bow told Scorpia how listless she has been, but she couldn’t muster any anger at either of them. Truth be told, Catra had been going to bed without eating more often than not, unable to summon the willpower to cook anything.

“Don’t worry, wildcat. I’m sure Adora’s fine. She’s stronger than any of us! This is probably just some kind of She-Ra thing, right?” Scorpia says as Perfuma assembles a salad. “She’ll be back before you know it.”

~~~

Another month later, Catra is back in Bright Moon, directing the search effort. Under Glimmer, they had managed to canvas all of the Whispering Woods and the kingdom without turning up even a hint of Adora. Under Catra, they explore the vast majority of the continent.

After another meeting with no sign of Adora, Glimmer takes her aside. “Catra… I need to cut down the size of the search team. We’ve already looked everywhere we can nearby and I need to get soldiers back out to the border outposts.”  
  
Catra feels acrid fury roil within her at the thought of giving up on Adora, but she pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath to force it down. “Right. I get it. Wherever she went, she didn’t want me to find her, right?”

Glimmer gives her a sad look and pats her on the shoulder. “She’ll come back, Catra.”

~~~

“What if she just ran away?” Catra asks Perfuma as they sit in her garden, months later. It had been years since they had meditated together, but Catra needed a little help staying grounded these days. “What if she finally realized that being with me was a mistake?”  
  
Perfuma opens an eye and gives Catra a serious look. “Do you really think Adora would do that?”

Catra lets out a long sigh and scratches the back of her head. “No,” she admits. “It’s just hard to imagine something could take her away without leaving any trace. I couldn’t even smell her when I was in the woods, ‘Fuma. I’ve looked almost everywhere, even Beast Island, but I can’t find any sign of her.”

Perfuma takes a deep breath before responding. “Wherever she is, she’ll owe you a long explanation when she gets back. But you have to believe that she will come back.”

~~~

“Glimmer wants to commission a statue,” Bow says one afternoon as they eat lunch together in Bright Moon’s She-Ra Memorial Garden. When Glimmer opened the garden, Adora had pointed out that Mara was the only She-Ra they could make a memorial statue for, but Catra privately enjoyed the sunny little spot. Curling up between the hedges here made her feel a little bit closer to Adora, wherever she was.

“But why? She’s not dead yet,” Catra responds reflexively. She has gotten used to insisting that Adora was still alive out there, somewhere.

“It’s been almost a year, Catra…” Bow stares at the ground, refusing to make eye contact. It was true – Bright Moon had unofficially given up their search effort months ago. They had scoured almost every inch of Etheria without turning anything up.

“I’d know if she was dead, Bow!” Catra insists. “She – she’s my… I’d just know, okay?”

Bow remains silent for a while. “Adora would want you to be there for the memorial.”

Oh. It hadn’t really dawned on her, yet, that Adora might really be… _gone_. That whatever magic had appeared that night may have really taken her away permanently without leaving a trace. Catra nods as she tries to blink back tears. Failing that, she buries her face in Bow’s shoulder as she chokes back her sobs.

~~~

The statue doesn’t quite capture Adora’s beauty and strength, in Catra’s opinion, but it is impressive. She-Ra stands at eight feet with her sword held aloft and has the same determined look on her face that wore the day she destroyed Horde Prime’s ship so many years ago. The ceremony passes Catra by in a haze of quiet weeping. There are representatives from every kingdom in Etheria and mercifully, Catra doesn’t have to make a speech. Bow doesn’t give her a hard time for soaking all three of the handkerchiefs that he handed her, either.

That night, Bow and Glimmer insist on staying with her in the cottage. She hadn’t wanted to ask them to stay, but she knew she would have otherwise spent the evening alone, wailing into Adora’s pillow and trying to fill her nose with what was left of her wife’s scent. She still does those things, but it helps to have Glimmer rub her back while she does.

The next day, Glimmer and Bow return to the castle after making Catra breakfast. Catra spends the day gazing at Adora’s shattered sword through watery eyes, buried in a pile of Adora’s clothes. After it feels like she’s cried out the last tear left in her body, she curls into a ball and, when she closes her eyes, the scent reminds her of being a child again, falling asleep at Adora’s feet.

Scorpia bring Catra meals every day for the next week. She loses count of number of times Scorpia pulls her into a bone-crushing embrace, but for once in her life, she doesn’t fight it and just sobs uselessly into the princess’s arms.

On Sunday, Scorpia and Perfuma arrive to Catra cooking herself lunch.

“Are you sure you’re okay to go back to work, wildcat?” Scorpia asks uneasily that night. “Glimmer would give you more time off if you just asked.” Perfuma insisted on doing the dishes, so Catra and Scorpia play cards on the couch.

Catra nods wordlessly. Last night, she decided that Adora was still out there, somewhere, in hiding. She knows that if she voices this thought, Scorpia will give her that infuriating look of pity and Perfuma will start to explain that denial is a natural stage of grief, so she keeps it to herself.

~~~

Glimmer invites General Juliet to their standing lunch date. “Hello, Force Captain,” she says, stony-faced, as Catra sits down.

Catra glances away, frowning slightly. “That’s not who I am anymore,” she murmurs.

Juliet barks out a short laugh. “Relax, Catra. I’m just giving you a hard time. It’s nice to meet you again. As an ally, I mean.”

Catra nods politely. Even after all this time, she isn’t great with new people.

“Juliet was just telling me that she wants to settle down. She just hasn’t met the right woman,” Glimmer says pointedly.

“Is that so?” Catra asks placidly, pushing her food around her plate with a claw.

“She even wants kit – I mean, kids!” Glimmer continues, turning slightly pink.

Catra’s eyes narrow as they flit between Juliet and Glimmer. “What’s going on here, Sparkles?”

Juliet flushes and looks away from Catra while Glimmer blusters through an explanation. “I’m sorry, Catra, I’ve just seen how miserable you’ve been and I thought, you know, you’re still _young_ – maybe it would help if you, I don’t know, met someone!”

“I don’t want to meet someone! Adora – she’s still –“ Catra stops herself. She’s already had enough of Glimmer’s pity for today and she knows admitting the secret hope she’s been holding onto would just make Glimmer even more infuriating. “I’m just not ready yet, okay? Sorry, Juliet. Glim didn’t tell me she was going to do this.”

“That’s okay, Catra,” Juliet flashes her a small smile. “If you do ever, um, start looking, you know where to find me.” Graciously, she leaves the table.

“That was nice of her,” Catra mutters.

“Oh, Juliet is _very_ considerate. And super buff, too,” Glimmer says. “You just… tell me when you’re ready, Catra,” Glimmer offers an apologetic smile.

Catra rolls her eyes. “Okay, okay. Cool your jets, Sparkles,” she grumbles. In her heart of hearts, she knows that she’s still married.

~~~

Four hundred and forty two days after the night Adora disappeared, Catra wakes up to Glimmer shaking her awake in the middle of the night.

“Catra. Catra! She’s back. We found Adora!”

Glimmer fills Catra in on the details as she hastily gets dressed. “Another anomaly appeared, just like last time, but it was gone by the time I got there. Instead, I found her just _laying_ there…”

Glimmer teleports Catra into the ward where Adora is sleeping and waits outside with Bow. Catra gazes down at Adora. _Her_ Adora, sleeping so deeply, apparently no worse for the wear than the night she disappeared. Catra’s breath catches as she traces the outline of Adora’s jaw with her thumb, purrs rumbling from her chest in the first time in over a year. “I missed you so much,” she mouths silently.

Catra lays her head on Adora’s chest and inhales, filling her lungs with the familiar scent of her wife, which is still tinged with the sharp scent of ozone and magic. “You idiot. You had me so worried,” she whispers as her eyes well up with happy tears.

“C – Catra?” Adora murmurs, causing Catra’s hair to stand on end. She hadn’t realized just how much she missed the sound of her name in Adora’s voice.

“Hey, Adora. I know your sense of direction is pretty bad, but even you have to admit this was pretty ridiculous,” Catra whispers as she straightens up, taking in the sight of her wife’s face.

“What are you doing here, Catra?” Adora’s voice is flat and she isn’t returning Catra’s smile. Her expression is familiar, but Adora isn’t looking at her with the warm, crooked smile that Catra had come to know meant _I love you_. No, Adora’s eyes are cold steel, her dark expression reminiscent of the look she had given Catra after… the portal.

Catra tilts her head in confusion. “W-why wouldn’t I…?” she stammers.

Adora’s eyes flash electric blue and suddenly, the Sword of Protection is in her hand. Catra topples backwards off of the chair, her eyes fearful. “Adora – w-what?”

Hearing the commotion, Bow rushes into the room, closely followed by Glimmer. “Adora! What are you doing?”

“What’s _she_ doing here?” Adora asks Bow, gesturing at Catra with the sword. _Why did she sound so angry?_

Catra eyes flit between the sword and her friend’s faces, her ears flat against her head. She shivers – perhaps she should have brought Adora’s jacket to keep her warm. Before Bow or Glimmer can react, Catra’s instincts kick in and she runs. Runs and runs and runs until she's back in their cottage hugging Melog tightly, the sight of Adora’s hateful glare seared into her memory.

~~~

Two years after she had defeated Horde Prime, Adora clambered awkwardly onto a high parapet in Bright Moon where Catra was gazing up at the stars.

“Took you long enough to find me,” Catra had murmured, glancing at Adora.

“It’s hard to climb in this, okay?” Adora retorted, gesturing at her white and gold gown. “What are you doing up here, anyway?”

“Just thinking,” Catra said, turning her head to the sky. “The stars brought us Horde Prime, which sucked and all, but they also brought us together, right?”

“Are you saying it took Horde Prime showing up for you to finally admit that you like me?” Adora teased, poking Catra in the side.

“Shut up.”

Adora swung her feet over the side of a nearby section of the wall and sat. “I get what you’re saying, though. Maybe we needed to get through all the bad stuff to finally get here.”

Catra snorted. “I could have just gone with you that night, you know. When you found the sword.”

“Really?” Adora asked, an eyebrow arched.

“Maybe.” Catra gave her a small smile. “Maybe with a little more convincing,” she waggled her eyebrows lasciviously.

“You are _so_ embarrassing.”

They sit in companionable silence for a few minutes before Adora spoke up again.

“I, uh, came here to give you something, actually.”

Catra propped herself up on her elbows, eyeing Adora’s clenched fist. “Yeah?”

“Do you, um…” Adora was chewing her lower lip. _So cute._

“Just spit it out, Adora,” Catra sat up, smiling encouragingly.

“Do-do you want to be my wife?” Adora stuck her hand out, palm up, offering her belt buckle to Catra. “You’ve always been my best friend, Catra, and – and you’ve made me so happy since the war, and I like to think I’ve made you happy, too, and I think we could _keep_ making each other happy, and –“

“Of course I do, dummy,” Catra had cut her off, laughing softly as she took the buckle. “I don’t really have anything to give you. Sorry.”

Adora tapped herself on the temple. “I have your mask already, silly. You know. When I’m She-Ra.”

Catra nodded, squeezing her eyes shut as she pulled Adora into a tight embrace. “I’m glad we got through the hard stuff,” she murmured.

“I love you, Catra,” Adora whispered back, her fingers combing through Catra’s hair. She looked up again at the starry sky. “It’s beautiful up here, isn’t it?”

Catra broke their embrace and took in the sight of her wife-to-be’s face.

“Yeah.”

~~~

“Memory loss?” Catra asks in disbelief. “From what?” They stood in Glimmer’s throne room with Micah, Casta, and Entrapta, who had all taken a turn examining Adora. Melog is small, curled in a ball at her feet.

“Whatever it is, it’s not magical!” Entrapta exclaims. Catra wishes that the princess could treat this situation a little more delicately, for Catra’s sake, but she can’t really stop Entrapta from being Entrapta. “Despite the magical nature of the anomaly, there is no data consistent with the hypothesis that her condition is due to the aftereffects of a spell.”  
  
Catra frowns. “Shadow Weaver told us she could modify memories, but if this isn’t like that, why doesn’t Adora remember anything?”

Micah and Casta share a glance. “Given that her memory loss isn’t magical in nature, Casta and I have to conclude that it’s due to trauma. Severe mental or physical trauma can induce amnesia, after all.”

“She hasn’t forgotten everything,” Casta pipes up. “Adora remembers everything up until she destroyed Hordak’s portal machine.”

The last thing Adora remembers is the worst thing Catra has ever done. Well, almost the worst. “She really did get brain damage this time, huh,” Catra sighs.

“But… she will get her memories back, right?” Glimmer asks.

Micah shrugs. “It’s not clear. In some cases of amnesia, most of the patient’s memories return, but nothing is guaranteed. She may just have to get used knowing there’s a chunk of her life missing.”

“A chunk?” Catra asks. “The portal was almost six years ago!”

After a moment of silence, Bow speaks up. “Can we see her now?”

“You guys go ahead,” Catra says. “She, uh, didn’t really seem like she wanted to see me last night.”

Glimmer frowns at Catra. “Are you sure? She’s your wife… I think she’d be really disappointed if you didn’t come.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Catra says, rubbing her bicep. “Look, um, if she wants to see me, why don’t you bring her home? After you’ve… filled her in.”

Glimmer opens her mouth in protest, but Bow cuts her off. “Catra might be right, sweetie.”

Catra leaves Glimmer’s chambers and, sensing her mood, Melog makes the two of them invisible. She doesn’t want to run into anyone who might ask about how _Adora_ is doing.

The boundaries between the next few days blur together. Catra sleeps when she’s tired, which isn’t necessarily at night, and a steady stream of princesses visit to try and distract her. Adora doesn’t ask after her.

“This is worse,” she says miserably as she picks at a knot of wood on the dining table. “Than Adora being dead, I mean.”

Scorpia sighs. “You don’t mean that, Catra.”

“Hasn’t she loved you since you were children?” Perfuma asks, ever the optimist. “Oh, she’ll be so excited to find out that you’re married now!”

~~~

Catra is napping in the shade of their lemon tree when Adora comes to visit. Melog notices her first, approaching her gingerly for a sniff.

“Hey, Catra,” Adora says, picking at her fingernails nervously. She’s wearing her old Horde jacket. How long had it been since Catra had last seen her in that?

Catra opens an eye and gives Adora a once-over. “Hey, Adora. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Glimmer told me that we got married,” she says.

Catra sits up. “I’m sure you can imagine my surprise, then, when my wife tried to cut my head off after going missing for a year.”

“Catra…” A hint of a familiar whine creeps into Adora’s voice. “I’m sorry about that. I – I was just surprised to see you, okay?”

Catra snorts. “So, what, do you hate me again?”

“I… I need to work through some things, Catra. On my own. I’m sorry.” Adora doesn’t meet Catra’s gaze, fixated on a spot of dirt near her feet.

Catra stares at Adora for a moment longer before closing her eyes and exhaling. Deep, deep down, she had known something like this was coming. Somehow, the universe had conspired to find another way to make Adora leave her.

“L-look, Catra…” Adora wrings her hands helplessly. _So cute, even when she hates me._

“Just spit it out, Adora.”

“I, um – since I don’t remember giving you that, could you give it back? Just until… just, for now.”

Catra looks down to where Adora is pointing. _Oh. Her buckle._ Catra feels her heart splintering into a million pieces as she unfastens it from her shirt. She holds it out, palm upturned. “I love you, you know,” she says hoarsely, her eyes starting to swim.

“Yeah.” Adora gives her a ghost of a smile as she refastens her belt.

For all of the work she has done with Perfuma, Catra has developed the emotional wherewithal to keep herself from bolting, so instead she just presses the heels of her hands into her eyes, fighting down the urge to cry. A niggling part of her mind had always known that Adora was too kind, too perfect, and had too easily forgiven Catra for all the hurt she caused her during the war. Catra hadn’t expected it to end like this, exactly, but at her most craven, she had suspected that it would end, eventually.

“It’s a nice place,” Adora offers, awkwardly. “The cottage, I mean.”

Wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hands, Catra stands up. “You should stay here.”

“What?”

“You loved this place, Adora. Besides, I don’t think I can sleep in our – in that bed again. You should stay,” Catra said. In her old jacket and belt, Adora is a spitting image of her teenaged self. If it weren’t for the hints of age – laugh lines around her mouth, her long hair, and faint crow’s feet, Catra would have believed that the Adora standing in front of her really was the girl she went to war against and not her partner of several years.

“Oh. Where will you go?” Adora asks.

Catra waves her hand in the air. “I’ll visit Scorpia and Perfuma for a bit. Maybe I’ll stay with Sparkles when I get back. Don’t worry about me – I can take care of myself.”

Adora opens her mouth as if she wants to say something else, but just nods. “I’ll think about it,” she says after another long pause.

By the time Catra regains her composure enough to look up, Adora is gone.

~~~

Catra packs quickly – it’s not like she has too many belongings, anyway. It had never really been her style to have a bunch of stuff anchoring her to one spot. Not until… well, not anymore, anyway.

Catra pauses after pulling her clothes out of a dresser drawer and shoving them into a backpack. She eyes the framed photograph sitting next to Adora’s hair ties and clips. Most of the sentimental keepsakes around the cottage were Adora’s – or, at least, so Catra had told herself – but this one photograph, taken on their wedding day, had always felt like it was _hers_. Concrete, tangible evidence that she was more than the cornered and angry animal Shadow Weaver had raised – that she could be happy, that she could make someone else happy, just by being.

She sighs, running a clawed thumb along the ornate gold frame. In the picture, Adora’s eyes were wet and her makeup was running slightly, but she was still effortlessly beautiful in her white dress. Her smile that day was wider than Catra had ever seen. Catra had worn a maroon tuxedo, reminiscent of her outfit to Frosta’s Princess Prom. Symbolizing a promise, Catra had told Adora when they picked their dresswear, that she would replace all of their bad memories together with better ones, starting with their first dance. Catra hisses derisively at the thought. _Ironic_.

Against her better judgment, Catra gently pushes the photo into her bag.

~~~

“Wildcat! So good to see you. Where’s Adora?” Scorpia asks, drawing Catra into a hug. Catra can see the gears turning as Scorpia’s eyes flit to her overnight bag and Melog, who is a muted blue. “Uh, maybe we better get you inside.”

Perfuma quickly prepares Catra’s favorite floral tea. She isn’t much for drinking it, but she enjoys the aroma, at least. “What happened, Catra? Didn’t Adora come home?” she asks.

Catra nods, inhaling deeply. “Yeah. Not to stay – she… wanted her buckle back,” Catra says as she gestures at her shirt.

“Oh, Catra…” Perfuma’s eyes well up with tears as she places her hand on Catra’s.

“Look, I deserve it. She’s angry about all the stuff I did during the war.”

“She came around last time, Catra. She’ll forgive you again, don’t you think?” Perfuma asks hopefully.

Catra shrugs morosely. “It took me getting mind-controlled and nearly dying for her to forgive me before. I don’t think I’m getting another chance at _that_ move. Not sure these old bones could handle it, anyway.”

Scorpia chuckles. “You’re barely twenty-five, Catra.”

Catra takes a sip of her tea and grimaces slightly. It doesn’t taste as good as it smells.

“This is, uh, a little personal, maybe,” Catra says, glancing up at Scorpia. “How did you get over me?”

“Oh, wildcat…” Scorpia’s cheeks redden slightly as she gives Perfuma a glance, who nods. “It just happened, I guess. Getting some space definitely helped, I think. And meeting ‘Fuma did, too.” Scorpia’s eyes are full of pity, but Catra feels like she might deserve a little pity right now.

“Yeah. Some space from her. That might help.” Catra frowns into her mug. “Hey. Why did you two forgive me? After the – after everything, I guess.”

“Well, we weren’t really on opposite sides till the end, there, Catra. I didn’t have to forgive you for much,” Scorpia shrugs. “You _did_ apologize, remember? I could tell you meant it.”

“I was never really angry with you, either, Catra. You were our enemy, but you were also a person that Adora and Scorpia really cared about. After we met, I could tell that you cared about them, too,” Perfuma says serenely.

“Thanks, you guys,” Catra manages to flash them a small smile. “You’re good friends. Do you mind if Melog and I stay here? Just for a little while?”

“You’re welcome here anytime, Catra,” Perfuma replies with a touch of hesitation in her voice. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Catra looks up at Perfuma morosely. “When has what I wanted ever mattered?”

~~~

When Adora returns to the cottage with Glimmer and Bow, Catra is long gone. Adora finds herself a little disappointed and filled with something that feels like… longing, maybe, that she didn’t run into her former friend.

Adora had laid awake replaying the afternoon she “divorced” Catra in her mind. Did it really count as getting divorced if she couldn’t remember getting married in the first place? A bitter, but completely correct part of her knew that Catra had considered it a divorce, and that’s all that mattered. She had known, honestly, that when she asked for her buckle back, Catra was going to take it poorly. Adora had expected Catra to scream at her, or fight with her, or maybe just run away from her, but none of the scenarios she had prepared for involved Catra just hanging her head and just… taking it.

“I just don’t understand her…” Adora mumbles to herself.

“You okay, Adora?” Glimmer asks, popping her head out of the front door. “Come in!”

They didn’t really need to move anything into the cottage – all of Adora’s things were here, even if she didn’t remember them being _her_ things. Still, there is a certain familiarity to the clothes hung in the closet, the keepsakes littering the open surfaces in the living room, and the design of the furnishings. The cottage really does feel like home.

Adora feels a twinge in her heart when she notices that the closet and dresser are half-empty. “Catra really did live here,” she murmurs to herself.

“Hey, Adora? You wouldn’t happen to know where Catra keeps the garlic, would you?” Bow asks from the kitchen.

“No…” Adora says as she walks into the kitchen to help him look through the cupboards. “Some things here feel familiar, but I don’t remember anything specific yet.”

“Ah! Here it is,” Bow says, breaking two cloves off of a half-used bulb and smashing them with the side of a knife.

“What are you making, anyway?” Adora asks, peering over Bow’s shoulder.

“Huh? Oh, steamed buns. They’re your favorite, remember?”

Adora frowns. _Were they?_

“Bow!” Glimmer hisses. “Catra made those for their first meal together here. She hadn’t had them before that, remember?”

“Did Catra really learn to cook?” Adora asks.

“Yeah, duh!” Glimmer replies. “She cooks, she gardens, she even sings! Who knew that the Horde Scum was such a catch?”

Adora shifts uncomfortably. When she tries to think about Catra, the storm of conflicting emotions brewing inside of her makes her feel frustrated, heartbroken, and a million other things she hasn’t even named yet, let alone worked through to find some semblance of clarity. She wasn’t ready to think of Catra as anything other than her enemy, let alone as _her_ wife. “Hey, I bet I did things around the house, too! …Right?”

Glimmer chortles. “You’re She-Ra, Adora. You had a lot to take care of in Etheria.”

“Hey, you were definitely good at eating, at least. Does that count?” Bow teases.

Adora grumbles performatively, but breaks into a smile. Even though Bow and Glimmer had become adults during the missing chunk of Adora’s life, hanging out with them still felt natural.

~~~

Once Casta and Micah are confident there are no lingering head injuries, Adora starts attending council meetings again. It’s no war council anymore, but now that She-Ra is back, Adora feels like it’s her duty to keep abreast of goings-on in the kingdom. Unfortunately, this also means seeing Catra every day, who doesn’t look _happy_ , but certainly doesn’t look as sullen as Adora feels. _If she loves me, shouldn’t she look more upset?_ Adora wonders this as she steals glances when she thinks Catra isn’t looking. It’s not that Adora _wants_ Catra to be miserable, per se, but she wishes she could read past that annoyingly disinterested look on Catra’s face and find out what she’s really thinking.

The meeting passes Adora by in a blur – partially because she keeps trying to avoid Catra’s gaze and partially because she’s too out of date to make sense of today’s political maneuvering. She can hardly remember _who_ Sweet Bee is, let alone what kingdom she rules and who they are allied with. Was it Elberon? No, Elberon was a village… Maybe she’s married to Peekablue?

“You’re not looking too hot, Princess,” Catra says, waking Adora from her reverie. Adora bristles for a moment at being called her old nickname, but there wasn’t really any derision in Catra’s voice. Maybe she called the old Adora that when they argued? Or had it become an affectionate nickname, despite its history? Adora groaned. She had enough to think about right now without getting into the whole… Catra thing.

“I haven’t been sleeping well, since… you know.” Catra nods, and Adora thinks she sees a flicker of concern break through Catra’s neutral façade. “And I was having a hard time keeping up. So much has changed since the war.”

“Is it your head?” Catra asks, leaning against the table. Her mismatched eyes are fixed on Adora’s, which makes Adora feel strangely small.

She shakes her head. “Actually, yes, I guess. When I close my eyes, it feels like my old memories are right there, just under the surface, like – like I can _almost_ reach them. It’s so loud in there at night, but I can’t make out what anyone is saying.”

“Hm.” Catra gazes at Adora for a long time, as if she’s searching for something in her face. “Look in bottom drawer of the dresser,” she says, finally.

“Huh?”

“When you go home, look in the bottom drawer of the dresser. I kept all your charts and study guides in there. You’d always make one before an important meeting. They’re not all the way up to date, but they should help.” Catra says.

Adora feels her cheeks turn pink. “Thanks, Catra.” Catra nods and starts walking to the door.

“Hey, Catra?” Adora says hesitantly. Catra pauses with her hand on the door. “D-do you think I’ll remember? How to stop being mad at you?”

Catra sighs, her back to Adora. “I don’t know, Adora.”

Adora frowns, looking up at Catra. “You don’t know or you don’t _care_?”

Catra turns, looking back at Adora. Her expression is vulnerable in a way that makes Adora’s heart twinge. “I don’t want to hope, Adora.”

~~~

“Did I really forgive her? For everything?” Adora asks, unprompted, one evening while playing cards in Glimmer’s room.

Bow gives Glimmer a cautious look before speaking up. “Yeah, you did,” he replies. “You married her, Adora.”

Adora closes her eyes. She can still see her knuckles connecting with Catra’s jaw, cracking the portal-world apart and bathing them in fierce purple light. She could see Angella’s sad smile before she wrenched the sword from the portal and consigned herself to death. The memories were still raw, fresh in her mind’s eye as if they happened yesterday. _How could anyone forgive Catra?_

“She tried to kill you, Bow. And she killed your mom, Glimmer! How can you two trust her living here?” Adora covers her face with her hands. She knows, logically, that Catra must have done _something_ to earn the trust of her friends and, deep down, a part of her mind can’t help but be glad that Catra finally came over to the light. On the other hand, Adora knows it isn’t _her_ fault that when she thinks about Catra, all she can feel is the ghost of her former friend’s claws tearing her back to ribbons. It was _Catra_ who had burned the bridge between them.

Glimmer presses her lips together, brow furrowed. “I wanted to hate her! At first, anyway. I even went to the Fright Zone to kill her. You know, after I activated the Heart.” Her voice shakes a little as she recounts the day that Horde Prime arrived.  
  
Adora shrugs. She had spent some time with Entrapta’s audio logs, trying to catch up on what had happened during the gaping hole in her memories, but in classic Entrapta fashion, they mostly contained blathering about her “experiments.” Using a history book, she had pieced together the main story beats after the portal – Light Hope had been lying about the purpose of the Heart of Etheria, Adora shattered the sword, and then Horde Prime showed and forced everyone to start working together.

“So what stopped you?” Adora asks.

“When I found Catra there… I don’t know. She wasn’t the same person that opened the portal. I just couldn’t do it.” Glimmer shrugs lamely.

“That’s it?” Adora draws her legs up and hugs her knees. “I used to have dreams that Catra would join us, you know. Before. She’d always tell me she was sorry for hurting me, or sorry for not trusting me, or whatever. You let her off without even that?”

“Well, Catra’s not exactly good with words, but we could tell that she really was sorry. She _did_ make it up to us…” Bow trails off.

In a flash, Adora is on her feet, pacing back and forth in the room. “Why are you defending her! I spent so long trying to convince you two that she wasn’t evil and she finally goes so far that even _I_ can’t defend her and now you guys say that it’s all fine between you?”

“Look, Adora, we’re trying to be patient with you, but all that stuff happened a LONG time ago! We’re not the dumb teenagers you remember!” Glimmer shouts back. Bow raises his hands up half-heartedly, as if he is trying to break up their impending fight. “And you know what, we know you’ve had a rough time in the portal and you don’t remember how far she’s come, but would it kill you to be a little nicer to Catra?”  
  
Adora’s retort catches in her throat as her eyes widen. “B-but,” she stammers.

“Let me finish! Look, why can’t you just _trust_ us that Catra’s our friend now, too? Catra’s _wife_ disappeared for over a year and the first thing you did when you saw her was point your stupid sword at her throat!” Glimmer huffs. “Can’t you see that she’s hurting right now, too? Just because goddess-knows-what happened to you while you were gone doesn’t mean you have to ignore the woman that _loves_ you, Adora!”  
  
“I-I haven’t been ignoring her!” Tears spring to Adora’s eyes, but she screws her eyes shut and shakes her head. “I want to remember,” she whispers. “I don’t _want_ to be so angry at Catra. What if my memories are just gone? What if they never come back?”

Bow gives her a sad smile and rubs Adora’s shoulder. “You don’t have to be the old Adora,” he says. “Just… be the Adora you are now.” Adora nods glumly in response.  
  
Glimmer’s eyes suddenly light up. “Hey! Speaking of the Heart, remember when we were going down there, how the Castle started reacting to Adora’s memories?”  
  
Adora shakes her head, but Bow also starts to get animated. “Oh, yeah! Do you think that place can play She-Ra’s memories or something?” he asks.

“Adora, you have to go! Maybe seeing your old memories will help them come back!” Glimmer exclaims, grabbing Adora by the shoulders and shaking her a little. Adora can’t help but return her wide grin, albeit weakly.  
  
“R-right, good idea, Glimmer!” Adora replies, mustering all the enthusiasm left in her body. “I can just catch up on my life. Like reading a book. Then everything will be back to normal,” she says, her voice flat.  
  
Bow gives her a sympathetic smile. “You can go whenever you’re ready, Adora. At least it’s a lead, right?”

~~~

On her first proper day off, Adora decides to learn how to cook. Learning a new skill feels like it’ll distract her from what feels like an increasingly-futile quest to regain her memories. She had found a sheaf of paper containing recipes with instructions written in Catra’s handwriting and she was determined to give one of them a shot.

She had started out with the best of intentions, anyway, but she finds herself kneeling in the garden, staring at two nearly identical green bushes. “One of you _must_ be parsley,” she mutters, trying to compare the caricature of the plant Catra had drawn in the recipe with the leaves in front of her.

Adora is so deep in thought that she doesn't hear muffled shouting off in the distance until it is right behind her.

“Melog, no!” she hears a familiar voice shout. Adora turns just in time to get a faceful of tongue from an enormous cat as it leaps on top of her.

“Melog, get off of her!” Catra says, pulling the cat-thing off of Adora. “Hey, Adora,” she says sheepishly. “Sorry about that. They’re just excited to see you.”

“It’s okay,” Adora says, scratching behind Melog’s ears. The cat nuzzles Adora’s cheek and purrs happily in response. “What are you doing here, Catra?”

Catra shrugs, but Adora sees her cheeks redden. “Just happened to be walking by and thought I should make sure you haven’t ruined my garden.”

“And?” The plants look alive, as far as Adora can tell. She hasn’t done anything in particular to take care of the garden since she moved in, but it’s not like trees in the Whispering Woods needed taking care of. Why would these plants be any different?

Curiously, Catra’s blush deepens. “It looks fine.”

Adora briefly arches an eyebrow, then turns back to the bushes. “You wouldn’t happen to know which of these is parsley, would you?”

“It’s the one with the pointier leaves,” Catra says, kneeling next to Adora. “See?” she murmurs as she reaches past Adora, flattening a leaf between her fingertips. Adora’s breath catches as Catra’s hair brushes her shoulder. A part of her finds her reaction curious – she has touched Catra’s hair hundreds of times that she remembers and, likely, thousands of times that she doesn’t.

“Adora? Hey, Adora!” Catra’s voice shakes her out of her reverie. “You spaced out there for a second. You okay? Did you remember something?”

The hopeful note in Catra’s voice bothers her, for some reason. Frowning, Adora shakes her head. “No, nothing.”

Catra’s face falls a little. “Oh. Well, I asked why you needed the parsley.”

“Oh! I wanted to try cooking. Getting kind of tired of the royal feasts,” Adora chuckles.

Catra snickers. “You? Cooking? Adora, I’ve _never_ seen you even set foot in the kitchen on your own.”

Adora grimaces. The way Catra talks about her old self so… familiarly irks her. “I’m getting a fresh start, so better late than never, right?” Adora’s expression softens when she sees how put out Catra looks. “Um, Glimmer told me that you’re good at this. Could you teach me?”

“Sure, Adora.”

To Adora’s surprise, Catra _is_ a good cook and a surprisingly good teacher, occasional snippy remarks aside. There’s a palpable distance between them as she follows Catra’s directions, chopping vegetables and mixing marinades. It’s like dancing to a familiar tune, but Adora doesn’t know the beat and Catra isn’t leading. Adora isn’t sure she’s ready to follow, anyway.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised that you’re good at cooking, too,” Adora says as she takes her first bite. “You always made everything seem so effortless back in the Horde.”

Catra’s eyes narrow slightly. _Did I say the wrong thing?_ Adora wonders. “Yeah, I guess. You were the only one that noticed,” Catra says.

Adora giggles after taking another bite. “This is a little weird, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” Catra chases a piece of meat around her bowl with a claw.

“You know, She-Ra and Force Captain Catra, cooking together and sharing a meal. It’s just funny!”

Catra’s frown deepens. “I don’t get it, Adora. Explain what’s so funny.” Catra’s voice is flat. Adora feels a flicker of irritation. _Why’s she being like this?_

“It’s – never mind, Catra.” Adora huffs and takes another bite, but it doesn’t taste quite as good with the ball of anger settling in her stomach.

Catra studies Adora for a moment, then returns to staring at her plate. An uncomfortable silence stretches between them.

“This is really good,” Adora says, fishing for a change in subject. “Are all your recipes this delicious?”

Catra cracks a small smile, if only for a moment. “Thanks. Yeah, the ones I’ve written down are, I guess. You’d think so, anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Adora asks.

“They’re all recipes that you liked before, well... you know. Like this? You wanted to eat this three times a week for almost half a year after I made it the first time,” Catra laughs lightly.

Adora tenses and inhales sharply. “Why do you keep doing that, Catra?” Adora asks harshly.

Catra tilts her head, puzzled. “Doing what?”

“You keep talking about the old me. You look at me like you’re looking at her! Don’t you get it? I’m not her!” She’s on her feet and her heart is thundering in her ears. Catra’s looking up at her, fearfully, ears flat against her head.

“Adora, I just -” Catra says in a small voice.

“You just _what_ , Catra? You’re just waiting for your wife to come home? She’s not coming back and the sooner you get that through your head, the sooner we can _both_ move on!” Adora’s shaking hands are balled into fists so tight that she feels her fingernails break skin.

“I – I shouldn’t have come here. Sorry,” Catra says, getting up in a smooth motion and leaping to the window. Melog leaps to her feet and, before Adora can stammer an apology, they disappear into the night.

~~~

Catra is eating alone in the castle’s dining room when Juliet sits down in front of her.

“Oh. Hey, General,” Catra says, frowning slightly at her food.

“Force Captain,” Juliet nods. Catra looks up, about to be irritated, but softens when she sees Juliet’s easy smile. “How are you doing?” Juliet asks.

Catra assumes Juliet has heard about what happened between her and Adora – who hasn’t, at this point? Her engagement to _the_ She-Ra had been newsworthy, so Catra assumed that rumors of She-Ra’s divorce had spread. “I’ve been better,” Catra shrugs. “Bad breakup, you know.”

Juliet gives her a sympathetic smile. “She’s missing out.”

Catra snorts. “Yeah? Exactly how many divorcees has that line worked on?”

Juliet taps her chin thoughtfully. “Just one,” she grins at Catra. “Well, assuming it works on you,” she says after a beat.

Catra rolls her eyes, but despite herself, lets out a chuckle. “Sorry, I, uh. Haven’t done this in a while,” she murmurs. This is a bit of a white lie – it’s not like she ever had “gotten to know” Adora when they started dating. She hadn’t needed to – she had known Adora like the back of her hand as far back as she could remember.

Juliet smiles encouragingly. “No shame in being out of practice. Why don’t we get dinner tonight? I know a place in the city.”

Catra inhales sharply, pausing for a moment before responding.

“Yeah. I think I’d like that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me.

Juliet takes Catra to the expensive seafood restaurant on the river. Catra had eaten there before with Adora, on their first anniversary, but she decides not to mention that to Juliet - bringing up places your ex-wife used to take you seems like a first date faux pas, anyway. Besides, she had enjoyed the tuna belly last time.

“I’m sorry about you and She-Ra,” Juliet says during a lull in their small talk.

“Are you?” Catra replies, smirking as she swirls her glass. The amber liquid burns her nostrils, but in a pleasant way.

“Hey, just because I’m interested doesn’t mean I can’t be sympathetic. I know what it’s like to have your heart broken,” Juliet says, returning Catra’s smile. Adora would have been flustered by that question, Catra thinks idly as she takes another sip of her drink.

Catra shrugs while Juliet looks at her, somewhat expectantly. “Sorry,” Catra says after a slightly too-long pause. “I haven’t really done this the normal way before. _Courting_ , I mean.”

“That’s surprising. I can’t imagine that’s due to lack of interest,” Juliet says, turning up the corner of her mouth.

“Never had the opportunity, I guess,” Catra murmurs. She feels a little bad – Juliet is a good conversationalist and Catra _is_ enjoying herself, she just finds it hard to avoid comparing this to spending time with Adora. “But, hey, I guess I do now. And I _am_ having fun,” she adds. Juliet breaks into a relieved smile. _Cute._

“So what made you start working for Sparkles? Sorry, I mean _Queen_ Sparkles,” Catra asks, and Juliet launches into a story.

Talking with Juliet soothes Catra’s frayed nerves. She is new and interesting and, most importantly, doesn’t much remind of her of Adora. Where Adora is sweet and a little bumbling, Juliet is quick-witted and well-spoken. Sure, Catra doesn’t share a lifetime of memories with Juliet, but there’s a certain safety in that – Juliet sees Catra as the woman she’s become without knowing intimately the broken, rotten-hearted child she used to be. 

Loving Adora would sometimes make Catra feel like the sun, endlessly chasing the moon across the heavens, only catching her fleetingly when she tired. Juliet is a bolt of lightning, powerful and fast, hoping to ignite Catra’s heart. Catra enjoys the feeling of being pursued, she admits to herself with a touch of surprise. Compared to earning Adora’s forgiveness _again_ , it isn’t hard to laugh at Juliet’s jokes, lightly touch her arm when she pays Catra a compliment, or tease her playfully from time to time.

Perhaps most importantly of all, Juliet’s dark, serious eyes do not remind her at all of Adora’s.

At the end of the night, Juliet offers to walk Catra back to the castle, which she accepts.

“Hey, Juliet,” Catra says as they approach the castle gates. “We were enemies during the war. I hurt your people. What made you want to ask me out?”

“That’s a bit heavy for a “first date” conversation, don’t you think?” Juliet asks uncertainly.

“Humor me?”

Juliet sighs, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “I guess… the way I see it, there are different kinds of forgiveness. I think we usually think forgiving someone is the same as saying “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me” or something, right?”

Catra nods. “But I did mean to hurt Bright Moon, back then.”

“Yes. Maybe this kind of forgiveness is me saying “You hurt me, but I’ve watched you change into someone that I trust won’t hurt me again.” And I have watched you change, Catra.” Juliet adds.

“Yeah. Okay. I like that,” Catra says, her eyes getting a little watery. “Sorry, I’m still…” She sniffs loudly, gesturing at herself wordlessly.

Juliet gives her a soft smile. “Hey, it’s okay. I had a good time tonight, Catra. Let’s do this again, whenever you want.”

Catra nods, sniffing again. “I had a good time, too,” she manages. And then, instead of turning around and walking through the castle gate, she surprises herself. She grabs Juliet’s collar, stands on her very tiptoes, and pulls her into a short, chaste kiss. It’s not like kissing Adora, but it’s not nothing, either.

~~~

“I heard you went on a daaaaate,” Glimmer teases at their next lunch.

“Really? Catra, that’s great! With who? How was it?” Bow asks excitedly.

“It was just one date,” Catra says, smirking slightly.

“It was with Juliet, Bow. Don’t bother with this one, getting any juicy details is going to be like pulling teeth,” Glimmer says, rolling her eyes.

“Come on, Catra. Did you have fun, at least?” Bow asks.

Catra shrugs. “Yeah, it was fun.”

“We’re just glad you’re getting back out there,” Glimmer says, sympathetically patting Catra’s forearm.

“What’s she like? Did you like her?” Bow follows up.

“I kind of expected her to hate me, but she was nice. Or kind, I guess.” Catra says.

“Nobody hates you, Catra!” Glimmer says, which earns her a tired glare from Catra. “Well, nobody in their right mind…”

“It’s not her fault, Glim. We had a pretty big fight, last time…” Catra trails off.

“Focus, Catra! Did you like Juliet or not?” Bow asks, clearly trying to shift the subject off of Adora.

Catra thinks about it for a second and nods. “Yeah, I like her.”

As Catra had expected, dating Juliet is easy. What she hadn’t expected was exactly _how_ easy it is – Juliet never harasses Catra to join her for a run at the crack of dawn, she waits patiently and without complaint when Catra has a meeting run long, and, most importantly, never asks overly probing questions about Catra’s past. The crib notes version is a matter of public record, of course – every schoolchild in Etheria learns about the Horde Force Captain whose stunning change of heart helped She-Ra destroy Horde Prime in their history classes, but few know exactly how much Catra had hurt the hero of Etheria and even fewer know why.

“A lady has her secrets. It’s water under the bridge, anyway,” Juliet had told her when Catra asked why they never talked about the war. Catra came to understand that this was for Juliet’s sake as much as it was for Catra’s – if they never broached the topic of the war, there was no risk that Juliet might find out that, perhaps, a strike Catra ordered killed her niece, or that maybe that a counterattack Juliet commanded took the lives of Catra’s squadmates from the academy. They maintain this truce of sorts, discussing at length their childhoods, the present, and their future hopes, but never about the years between Adora leaving the Horde and the end of the war.

In all truth, Catra appreciates the distance that she and Juliet keep each other at – it keeps her from feeling too vulnerable. She and Adora had lain themselves bare to one another in body and mind, and Adora’s admiration caused every fiber of Catra’s soul to thrum in joy, whereas Adora’s disapproval brought her to her lowest lows. Catra’s best times with Juliet aren't quite as happy, but her worst times aren't quite as unhappy, so she feels safe. Secure.

There are times that Catra craves being _seen_ the way Adora saw her. A normal thing to miss, she tells herself, about one’s first love.

~~~

At work, Catra and Adora maintain a professional distance – only addressing one another when necessary and staggering their exits from Glimmer’s meeting chamber to avoid awkward conversation. Despite having to see Juliet and Adora in the same room every day, Catra balances their interactions delicately until a small nudge brings it crashing down.

“Hey, we have dinner reservations at 7,” Juliet whispers to Catra at the end of a meeting. Catra nods, shooting Adora-as-She-Ra a look, but she's looking elsewhere, debriefing a captain about a recent scouting mission.

“I’m looking forward to it,” Catra murmurs back, closing her eyes and planting a quick peck on her girlfriend’s cheek. When she opens her eyes, she meets Adora’s gaze, who is glaring daggers at her. _Oops._

Catra lingers in the room as the other attendees leave. She can feel She-Ra’s glare on the back of her head, which sends a thrill of fear up her spine. As soon as the room is empty of others, Catra swivels her chair to face her ex-wife.

“Adora, look – “ Catra manages before Adora stomps up to her and grabs Catra’s collar, lifting her into the air.

Panic shoots through Catra’s body. Her hair stands on end and her claws extend, drawing pinpricks of blood from the spots her nails dig into She-Ra’s wrists. “Adora, stop,” she gasps, trying to fight down the urge to vomit. In the years that she and Adora had been together, Catra had come a long way toward conquering her fear of She-Ra and accepting her as part of Adora, but the way She-Ra gazed at her now, full of cold fury, was like something torn from her most horrifying nightmares.

“Are you _trying_ to piss me off?” Adora growls at Catra, her grip on Catra’s shirt tightening.

“Please, Adora – you’re scaring me!” Catra shrieks, slapping at She-Ra’s wrists. Adora’s eyes widen in shock as they fade back to gray-blue, and suddenly, she drops the transformation.

“Oh no. Nononono. Catra, I’m so sorry. That was so so so far out of line, ” Adora rambles, tearing up as she moves to embrace Catra.

Catra is on all fours, chest heaving. She holds an arm up, staying Adora. “J-just stay right there for a second,” she gasps, trying to slow her heart. After a beat, she looks up at Adora. “I didn’t mean to surprise you.” Catra gives Adora a tentative smile. “Still, that was a bit over the top, don’t you think?”

Adora shakes her head, staring at her hands in shock. “It’s not my business, Catra. I just – I just felt like I was losing you.”

Catra frowns, then tilts her head in confusion. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Adora shakes her head again, her eyes wet with tears. “Ever since I lost my memories, I’ve just been so frustrated and confused, Catra. I overreacted.” She offers Catra a small, miserable smile. “I guess I’m doing that a lot around you, lately.”

Catra regards Adora and sees her a little more clearly. She sees someone less like the brash and self-assured warrior-goddess she had married and someone more like the hot-headed and insecure ex-Horde soldier who had yet to find herself in the midst of the duty thrust upon her.

Catra chooses to return Adora’s tentative smile. “It’s okay,” she says, wrapping the end of her tail around Adora’s wrist. “Let’s keep the sword lady under wraps for a bit, though. Around me, at least.”

~~~

After their last altercation (was it a fight? It felt like one, but they seemed to be on better terms after? Adora still wasn’t really sure), it feels like the wall between her and Catra has started to come down, if only a little. Catra stops refusing to meet Adora’s eyes in meetings and, sometimes, they have lunch together with Bow and Glimmer. They're not friendly, exactly, but they are civil, which feels like an improvement to Adora.

Most of the time, though, Catra spends her lunches with Juliet.

“They seem happy, don’t they?” Bow says tentatively. Adora had spent the last several minutes staring at the Catra and Juliet across the dining room, as if she’s trying to bore holes in the back of Catra’s head.

“Yeah, I guess. What’s going on there, anyway? Weren’t they enemies?” Adora says, frowning. 

Glimmer laughs. “I guess Catra’s got a thing for seducing enemy commanders.” The thought makes Adora blush.

“They have a lot in common, Adora,” Bow says. “Juliet makes Catra happy.”

Adora wonders, privately, how much truth there is in that. Perhaps it’s just her imagination, but sometimes when Catra is with Juliet, her mismatched eyes momentarily meet with Adora’s as if to say _you used to have this_. She wonders if she’s just projecting, however, because the thought makes her heart clench uncomfortably.

“I used to make Catra happy,” Adora murmurs, frowning. “Right?” Glimmer pats her arm sympathetically.

“She was inconsolable after you disappeared, Adora. She kept believing that you were somewhere out there long after… well, long after everyone else gave up,” Bow says.

“It was heartbreaking to see her at your funeral,” Glimmer says. “We had to take turns staying with her to make sure she didn’t just curl up in your bed and stop eating.”

 _My funeral_. The thought sends a chill up Adora’s spine. Old Adora, the Adora that disappeared that night, was still gone. Maybe that was _her_ funeral. Catra had mourned that Adora. Adora looks up at Catra, who has her hand on Juliet's arm, her head thrown back in raucous laughter. She wonders if Catra is still mourning that Adora.

~~~

Adora finds it hard to sleep that night. When she closes her eyes, the image of Catra sharing a private joke with Juliet is burned into her mind’s eye. She remembers her childhood, countless nights spent staying up late with Catra, giggling about this and that. She wonders what she and Catra talked before she disappeared. Had she held Catra close to her chest in their final hours together? Had she kissed her goodnight before she left?

It makes Adora feel profoundly empty, like there is a hollow in her heart, to know that she had loved and been loved, but cannot remember any of it. She rolls onto her side, gazing at the other side of the bed. She wonders what Catra’s eyes would look like in the soft glow of the moonlight through the window, were she here now. Bitterly, she wonders if Catra is looking at Juliet with those eyes right now.

She gets off of the bed and walks to the bookshelf. She can tell which books were hers – First Ones books presumably borrowed from Bow’s dads, history books on the kingdoms of Etheria, and compilations of the legends of past She-Ras. The bottom shelf, which she had avoided thus far, is full of photo albums, all titled and annotated in her own handwriting. Some of the albums are slim – “GlimBow Wedding” or “BF Squad Road Trip,” but the biggest by far is titled “Catradora Wedding!”

Adora pulls her wedding album off of the shelf and slips back into bed, drawing the covers around her shoulders. She feels an unfamiliar warmth blossoming in her chest as she flips through the pages. Their wedding was large, much larger than Catra probably would have liked, but She-Ra’s nuptials were bigger than both of them. Adora pauses on a picture of her riding Swift Wind in full dress and makeup, surrounded by a throng of happy-looking people. She wonders how many of the unfamiliar faces in the picture are forgotten friends and acquaintances, lost in the years of her life stolen from her.

She flips ahead to a picture of Glimmer and Bow. Glimmer is frozen mid-laugh and Bow is whispering something in her ear, grinning widely. Adora’s eyes burn as she wonders if Bow had repeated the same joke to her. Had she laughed, too? Had she told it to Catra, later? How many of these little moments had she forgotten?

She turns the page again, sniffling a little. She and Catra are standing at the head of a seated crowd, a line of friends next to each of them. Adora is turned toward Glimmer, who is wiping a tear from Adora’s cheek, but her smile is so wide it threatens to break her face in half. Adora feels a pang of jealousy – she’s happy in this picture. Happier than she can honestly ever remember being. Catra is smiling on at Adora, looking beautiful in her tuxedo, but what makes Adora’s heart flutter is the look in Catra’s eyes. Her expression is unguarded and soft in a way that Adora hadn’t seen since before the war, perhaps since they were children.

Adora closes the album and lays her head against it, letting out a shaky breath. Catra must have had a hollow carved into her heart, too, the day Adora-in-the-pictures disappeared. Adora-who-returned wonders if she can fill it. She wonders if she’ll even get a chance to.

~~~

The next day, Adora finds herself stomping through the woods aimlessly, trying to wrestle with her feelings about Catra. She admits to herself that Catra _does_ seem to have become a better person and she certainly shouldn’t be _mad_ at Catra because she’s moved on to someone else. A selfish part of Adora wishes that Catra had waited for her, but most of her knows that’s an unreasonable ask. And even if she _does_ admit to herself that she _might_ be open to being with Catra, how does that fix the past? Adora groans in frustration as she pushes through a particularly dense thicket and steps into a clearing.

“Mara! So good to see you!” The voice is familiar.

Adora is shaken from her reverie. “Razz!”

“Oh, it’s you, Adora dearie. It has been a while, hasn’t it?” Razz asks, squinting owlishly. Adora can’t tell if the question is meant to be rhetorical. She can’t really tell much with Razz, oftentimes.

“Yeah, Razz, it’s been…” Adora trails off. She’s not really sure what to say. “A lot of stuff has happened,” she finishes softly.

Razz’s eyes widen slightly behind her thick glasses. “Oh, it’s _that_ time, is it… You must be here about Catra!” Before Adora can answer, Razz has turned back to the tree she was examining, rummaging around for something. Mushrooms, maybe.

“No!” It’s an honest reaction – Adora really hadn’t meant to come here to talk about Catra. She hadn’t really _meant_ to come here at all. But… if Razz was offering... “Well, I guess so. I’m just confused.”

“Come, Adora,” Razz says, patting Adora’s hand sympathetically. “Tell Razz about your troubles.” Again, Razz is off in a flash. _Surprisingly nimble for being over a thousand years old._ Sighing, Adora breaks into a run.

“How do I know if I can forgive her?” Adora asks the next time they stop, panting while Razz roots at the base of the tree for something.

“Aha, there you are!” Razz says, pulling something bulbous and black from the earth. “You’re a big one!” Adora frowns. Whatever that thing is, it doesn’t look edible.

“Uh, Razz?” Adora asks.

“Forgiveness is very complicated, dearie. What does it mean to forgive, anyway?” Razz asks before dashing off again.

Adora scratches her head. _Good question._ “I don’t know.” She jogs after Razz, rolling it over in her head. “I guess I thought forgiveness is something someone who hurt you has to earn. How do you know if they’ve earned it?”

Razz cackles as she digs up another black ball from the foot of a tree. “Forgiveness is a choice, silly! A choice _you_ get to make. Now isn't that right, Loo-Kee?”

Adora chews her lower lip thoughtfully. “Hm.” When she looks back up, Razz is just a flash of red disappearing around a tree. “Hey, Razz!” Adora runs ahead, glancing about for any sign of the old lady.

“Oh, I see…” Adora mumbles to herself as she rounds the corner and finds herself staring up at the Crystal Castle. Razz always did have a knack for leading Adora where she needed to go.

She hesitates for a moment at the entrance. Then, she walks inside.

~~~

The memory chamber reacts instantly to her entrance, surrounding her with a holographic reconstruction of her cottage. “Uh, Light Hope? Are you here?” Adora asks.

The default AI materializes in front of her. “The Light Hope program has encountered an unrecoverable error. How may I be of assistance, administrator?”

“Oh… um, what is this place?” Adora asks. She assumes that it must have some greater purpose beyond destroying lifelong friendships.

“This room can be used by the She-Ra to review her memories. Would you like to use the retrieval wizard?”

Adora nods. “Please wait,” the AI replies. There's a pause.

“I am sorry, administrator. Several of your memories appear to be damaged and/or corrupted. Would you like me to attempt a reconstruction?” 

“Figures,” Adora says, kicking at the floor. _Of course it wasn’t going to be easy._ “Sure, whatever you can do.”

The AI silent for several minutes before speaking up again. “Reconstruction failed, administrator. The wetware has degraded too much for safe and accurate memory retrieval. Here are your available options,” the AI says as a tablet pops into existence in Adora’s hands. Her brow furrows as she reads the screen.

_Retrieval error(s): 137,395_

_Memories available: 391,226_

“How many of these memories are after the war but before a year ago?” Adora asks. The screen flickers for a moment.

_Filter(s) applied._

_Retrieval error(s): 105,381_

_Memories available: 161_

Adora groans. “That’s barely better than nothing!”

“My apologies, administrator.” The AI flickers briefly.

“Please show me all memories with this filter that include Catra.”

The AI doesn’t respond, but the room flickers, changing into her room in Bright Moon. The moons hanging outside the windows cast everything in a pallid light. Adora feels her cheeks redden slightly as she peers into the bed to see that Catra is sleeping, albeit fitfully, next to memory-Adora.

Catra’s eyes fly open and she pants, chest heaving. _A nightmare?_

Catra rolls and props herself up on her elbows, looking down at Adora’s face.

“Hey,” Adora hears in her own voice, barely a whisper. “Bad dream?”

Catra nods.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Adora asks, lightly stroking Catra’s shoulder blade.

Catra shakes her head, but relaxes into the intimate touch. She buries her face in Adora’s neck and breathes deeply for a few moments.

“I dreamt that you left me again,” Catra admits, her voice a low rasp.

“I won’t,” Adora murmurs back.

“But you _have_.”

“I won’t.”

Catra is silent for a long while, but nods into Adora’s neck. It isn’t much longer until their breathing becomes even again.

The room glitches and becomes blurry, like she’s looking at it through a piece of frosted glass, before snapping back into sharp focus. They’re cooking together in the kitchen of Mara’s ship – well, Catra is cooking and Adora is reading labels on boxes of First Ones rations. Catra’s hair is short – barely reaching her shoulders. _When was this?_

“I’m glad you took me with you on this trip,” Catra says. “I’m not sure I’m ready to face everyone else down there, yet. Princesses aside.”

“It’ll be fine, Catra,” Adora says. “You’ve hurt me more than anybody and I forgave you, didn’t I?” Perhaps she hadn’t noticed at the time, but in here, Adora could see Catra wincing at her words.

Catra’s chopping slows for a moment, but she maintains her calm demeanor and continues as if Adora’s words didn’t bother her. “What’s up with that, anyway?”

“Hm?”

“You’re right, I did hurt you. A lot, actually. Why _did_ you forgive me?” Catra asks. Adora can see Catra’s fingers clench the edge of the countertop tightly.

Adora puts a finger to her chin. “I know you’re not a bad person at heart, Catra.”

Catra snorts, but she relaxes a little. “I don’t know about that, Princess, but sure. How does that change all the times I hurt you?”

Adora shrugs. “I didn’t forgive you because I thought it would fix our past. I forgave you because I wanted us to have a future.”

Catra blushes deeply as she returns to prepping food in silence. “What I’m hearing is that you forgave me because you’re in love with me,” she says, finally.

It’s Adora’s turn to blush. “That’s not really the moral of the story, Catra!” She walks over to Catra and bends at the hip, resting a chin on Catra’s shoulder. “But yeah, I am.”

Adora can see Catra start to roll her eyes before the simulation glitches out again, whirling her along to the next memory.

Adora watches Catra cooking dinner in the cottage while she memorizes a study guide she made before a diplomatic meeting. She sees peaceful memories of her falling asleep in Catra’s arms and exciting ones, like the day they move into the cottage. She sees their first night together as a married couple, where they are both so exhausted from the celebration that they fall asleep the second their heads hit their pillows. She watches painful memories, too, of their arguments as they adjusted to living with and loving one another and is relieved when the memories of their reconciliation haven’t been too corrupted to watch, as well.

The gaps are obvious, though - Catra's hair grows long in the break between two memories. Adora is wiping sweat from her brow in one vision and in the next, they're shivering, huddled around the fireplace. Another gap, and her belt buckle is pinned to Catra's shirt, just below her heart. _It's not enough_ , she thinks longingly as each memory stutters, ends, and skips ahead through her life. _I want to see more_. 

She watches the last uncorrupted memory before she disappeared. It’s a simple one, a snapshot of a day they were in love. Adora is She-Ra, carrying a clearly-embarrassed Catra up the walkway to their cottage. “It’s just a twisted ankle,” Catra mutters, rolling her eyes, but Adora can tell from the way her tail sticks up that she’s secretly pleased. “My hero,” Catra says, melodramatically, as they cross the threshold into the cottage and plants a kiss on She-Ra’s cheek, earning an uninhibited laugh.

The memory freezes and flickers before collapsing into darkness, leaving Adora alone with her thoughts.

~~~

Surprising herself, Catra accepts Juliet’s invitation to Glimmer’s annual royal ball. “Okay, but I am _not_ wearing a dress,” she says and notices that Juliet looks a little disappointed. She can’t help but recall that Adora had _liked_ that Catra hated dresses.

“Is Adora going with anyone?” she asks Glimmer after a meeting, as nonchalantly as possible. Something about Adora had changed recently. Had her memories returned? Or had she met someone that soothed her troubled mind? She is secretly relieved when Glimmer intimates that Adora is planning on going stag.

The ball is more stifling than Catra remembers. She’s not sure if it’s because she skipped the last few, or because her friends are just happy to see her with someone, or perhaps it's because it was easier to handle these things with Adora by her side. She and Juliet spend their night flitting from conversation to conversation with well-wishers telling them that they look _so_ great together and they make _such_ a cute couple.

Catra enjoys the compliments and, frankly, she agrees with them - they _do_ look good together - so she hangs on Juliet’s arm and allows her to lead the way. When Catra catches Adora staring at her, she resists the urge to arch an eyebrow or smirk at her ex-wife, despite how _Adora_ she looks in her simple red dress. Catra hasn’t seen that dress since the last Princess Prom. She wonders, idly, if it was just a coincidence that Adora chose that dress tonight or if the memory of Catra’s promise had returned to her.

Late into the evening, Catra finds herself alone by the bar when she hears Adora’s familiar footsteps approaching her.

“Hey, Adora,” she says.

“Catra. Where’s Juliet?” Adora asks, leaning against the section of the bar next to Catra.

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably ingratiating herself with Queen Sparkle’s groupies. Sorry, her _royal court_.”

Adora giggles for a moment before her expression grows serious. “Can we please talk? Outside?”

Wordlessly, Catra nods. Adora pulls her into a darkened hallway that leads to the guest living quarters. “What’s so important that you couldn’t say it in there?” Catra asks, jabbing her finger back toward the ballroom.

“This,” Adora murmurs as she cradles Catra’s face in her hands and leans forward. Catra feels her heart thundering in her chest as Adora pauses, their lips inches apart, and gives Catra a searching look before closing the gap. Catra closes her eyes and purrs as her lips part to meet Adora’s. _Adora_ is lightning, she realizes; terrifying and beautiful and dangerous and capable of setting Catra’s very being ablaze with a single touch.

“Look, Adora…” she says after a moment, gently pushing Adora away. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“I miss being around you, Catra,” Adora says. Her blue-gray eyes hold Catra captive in their stare. “I don’t _remember_ , but I looked at our photos. I watched my memories. I miss you.”

Catra shivers. “I’ve tried really hard to get over you, Adora. Please…” Her voice is hoarse. She’s not sure, exactly, what she’s pleading for.

“I want to be _with_ you, Catra. I hate that my memories of our life together are gone and I hate that I can’t make them come back. But I know that I love you and, if you’ll have me, I want to make new memories with you.”

Catra swallows thickly. “Adora…”

“I know Juliet’s great, and I know that I've made things harder than they had to be, and I - " Adora pauses and takes a breath. "If you want me, Catra, I’m right here. It’s your choice.” Adora takes a step backward, gives Catra a shy smile, and disappears back into the ballroom.

By the time Catra has composed herself enough to go back inside, Adora is long gone.

~~~

“I kissed Catra,” Adora admits to Bow and Glimmer during breakfast the next morning. “At the ball.”

“You did _what_?” Bow exclaims, spitting out a mouthful of tea.

“That's bold, even for you,” Glimmer says, shaking her head slowly. 

“What changed? Did your memories come back?” Bow asks.

Adora shakes her head. “I figured some things out. I figured out that I love her.”

Glimmer snorts. “Duh.”

“Wait, you said you were happy for her when she started dating Juliet!” Adora exclaims.

“Adora, sweetie, we love you, but it took you _years_ to figure out that you were in love with Catra before,” Glimmer says.

“We just didn’t want to see her so sad,” Bow offers.

Adora nods.

Glimmer folds her arms. “Okay. So you kissed her. What now?”

“I guess I have to wait, right? To see what she says…” Adora murmurs.

~~~

The next week passes and Adora doesn’t see Catra at all, even in Castle Bright Moon. She distracts herself by learning to cook Catra’s recipes. Catra was right – Adora likes every one she tries, even when she messes them up a bit. She doesn’t look at the photo albums again – they’re a far-too-painful reminder that she used to have a joyous, picturesque life that she was forced to trade for this miserable, broken mess.

She’s clipping a handful of chives when she hears a familiar voice.

“Hey, Adora.”

Adora turns, her heart racing. “Catra! What are you doing here?”

There’s a long pause. “I came to… to see you, I guess.”

“Oh,” Adora says. She turns back to the chives and takes a deep breath. “How come?”

Adora hears Catra shift uncomfortably behind her. “To see if you were doing okay.”

“I’m doing fine, I guess,” Adora says. She gathers the bunch of chives and stands.

“Adora, wait. I, uh. Juliet and I broke up.”

Adora turns to face Catra, slowly. Casually, she hopes. “Oh. What happened?”

“I told her that we kissed.”

“She broke up with you over that? That’s not fair!” Adora exclaims. “I kissed you. This is my fault. I can -”

“No – no,” Catra cuts her off. “I kissed you back.”

“Catra…” Adora says, softly. “How are you doing?”

Catra shrugs. “We really liked each other, you know. It just wasn’t like… well...”

Adora nods, not sure what to say. An uncomfortable silence stretches between them.

“That's all I wanted to say,” Catra says, turning away from Adora. “I just thought you would want to know.”

“Hey, Catra?” Adora asks. “I, um, was just about to make lunch. Do you maybe want to join me?”

Catra turns back, her expression inscrutable. “Yeah, okay.”

~~~

Adora insists on making the meal herself, so Catra leans on the countertop and watches her. She tries not to pay too much attention to what Adora is doing – it seems to her that this may not be the most appropriate time to try and correct Adora’s technique.

“I tried to watch my memories,” Adora says as she whisks the chives into a bowl. “In the Crystal Castle.”

Catra arches an eyebrow. “How’d that go?”

Adora gives her a sad smile. “They’re gone, mostly. Whatever happened really did a number on me up here.” She raps the side of her head with her knuckles.

Catra lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. But… wait. “Mostly?”

“Mostly.” Adora pours the contents of the mixing bowl into a saucepan and puts it on heat. “A few small moments stayed with me. I don’t know if I’ve figured out what it all means, but… it helped.”

Catra nods, slowly.

“Hey, uh, do you mind cutting those in half?” Adora gestures at two buns that she had set on the countertop.

“Sure.” Catra says. _Egg sandwiches_ , she thinks as she saws the bread in two. She snickers.

“What?”

“Leave it to you to have breakfast for lunch,” Catra teases.

Adora’s eyes widen. “It was supposed to be a surprise!”

“How are you going to surprise me with my own recipes, dummy?”

They don’t speak again about Adora’s lost memories that day. It’s easy, actually – their conversation flows like water as Adora clumsily maneuvers around the kitchen. Catra isn’t surprised by _that_ , exactly. She supposes if she _is_ surprised, it’s by how easy it is to be here with Adora like nothing’s changed. Indeed, things _have_ changed - been broken, rather, but for the first time, Catra allows herself to hope that they can be repaired.

“How is it? Is it good? It's good, right?” Adora asks as Catra takes her first bite. Adora is smiling at her uncertainly, her eyes glowing with hope. Catra’s nose crinkles slightly as she chews. It’s salty.

“Idiot. Of course it’s good.”

~~~

“Are we together?” Adora asks, hesitantly, weeks later. They’re laying on Adora’s bed – their bed, once – gazing at each other.

“You tell me, Princess. You’re the one that broke up with me,” Catra chuckles. It comes out as a deep, rumbling purr.

Adora frowns, her eyebrows crinkling. Catra reaches out cups Adora’s cheek, smoothing an eyebrow with her thumb.

“I love you, Catra.”

“I love you, too.”

“I want us to be together,” Adora breathes.

“Like, what, girlfriends?”

Adora nods. “Yeah. I want to tell people that you’re my girlfriend. I want to tell _everyone_ that you’re _my_ girlfriend.”

“I’d like that,” Catra murmurs, smiling faintly. Then – “I have a complicated past, though. Did you know I used to be married?”

Adora laughs and pulls Catra close to her chest. The sound fills Catra’s heart with warmth.

And so, they tell their friends that they’re together. Bow, like an idiot, bursts into happy tears while Glimmer shakes her head like an exasperated parent. Scorpia picks both of them up into a hug so big that Catra wonders for a week if it permanently adjusted her spine. Perfuma tells them something about their auras that neither of them completely understands and Melog mostly just seems to be happy that they can all live together again.

Catra accepts that Adora-her-wife-who-disappeared is gone. She notices the differences – sometimes subtly, like when Adora’s eyes get wide in surprised delight as she takes the first bite of a dish that she’d eaten dozens of times before, and sometimes obviously, when Adora asks questions like, “Did we used to do things like this?” and “Is this what it was like, before?”

“ _Yes_ ,” she assures Adora every time. Adora-who-came-back isn’t the woman Catra had married, with whom she had constructed a monumental love built from their shared tears and laughter and pain and healing. She _is_ Adora, however, and even though their love had been razed by fate, the foundation is the same, and Catra knows that they will build it anew.

~~~

It wasn’t long, of course, until Adora was called to deal with some critical situation that only She-Ra could attend to in the middle of the night. Catra fretted, but told herself it would be okay this time. Still, she found herself drawn to the memorial garden, where she curled up beneath Adora’s statue. It soothed the ball of worry in her stomach, if only a little. 

Adora's voice startles Catra. Had she dozed off? “Hey. Glimmer said I’d find you here." Adora studies the statue. “This… is supposed to be me, isn’t it?”

Catra opens an eye and looks up at Adora. She-Ra, rather. “Sure looks like you. I haven’t met any other 8-foot-tall blondes. Have you?”

Adora chuckles and sits down on the grass next to Catra. She-Ra isn’t _quite_ as imposing when she’s sitting. Catra looks at her and frowns.

“Is there something on my face?” Adora asks, confused.

“I just realized. You never gave me back my mask!” Catra sits up, faux-irritated.

“Your…?” Adora asks, puzzled. Realization dawns and her hand flies to her brow. “Oh!”

“I can’t believe you divorced me without giving it back!”

“I, uh, I didn’t think – and I don’t know how my clothes work as She-Ra, anyway! Even if I took it off, I think it’d reappear next time I transformed, so I’m not sure – and would it even stay when I turn back - “ Adora blusters. _Cute_.

Catra snorts. “Fine, it’s not like I want it back, anyway. You’ll just have to make it up to me.”

Adora exhales and gives Catra a relieved grin. “Oh, phew. How?” she asks, dropping her transformation.

Catra taps her chin with her finger. “Hmmm. You could give me your belt buckle.”

Adora stiffens. Catra's breath catches. 

The world turns, imperceptibly. Then - 

“…Catra? Are you…?”

“Don’t make me spell it out for you, dummy.”

Tears spring to Adora’s eyes. “Yes!” she exclaims as she dives into a tight embrace with Catra. “Yes, Catra, I’ll marry you.”

“Okay, okay,” Catra says, stroking Adora’s hair. “Don’t get too excited – it’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

A shadow of fear clouds Adora’s face. “What if something happens again?” she asks softly. “What if I forget you again?”

“Hmmm.” Catra pulls Adora closer, tangling her fingers in Adora’s hair. “I guess I’d have to make you fall for me all over again.” She feels Adora relax in her grip.

“I’d do it as many times as it takes.”


End file.
